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Al Sharpton’s Blog

What famous dead black leaders would probably say about the white Morehouse valedictorian

By Al Sharpton

Bio & Blog

Whitie has a long tradition of usurping things that belong to us: Rock'n'Roll, the Jew-fro, Halle Berry's fine self. But what I just found out is a whole new level of hijacking.

The next valedictorian of my alma mater Morehouse's graduating class is going to be some white dude! (By alma mater, I of course mean metaphorically -- I dropped out of Brooklyn college to tour with James Brown and never graduated college.)

And guess who's memory this kid evoked when justifying why he accepted the honor:

"What Morehouse stands for at the end of the day, and what Dr. King epitomized, it's not about black or white, it's about the content of [a person's] character. It's about me, representing Morehouse in that light -- not as a white man or a black man."

Ick! Gag me. It's always MLK they quote. Well I took the time to survey a few other influential black leaders and am happy to report back their quotes. (Ed. note: Since all of these sources were dead, I took the liberty of guessing what their responses would be.)

Frederick Douglas: "I had to sneak into a shed to learn how to read. Did this guy face any hardships like that? Didn't think so."

Nat Turner (slave rebellion leader): "That rebellion may have been a bad idea. But not as bad of an idea as letting this white kid be valeDICKtorian."

Malcolm X: "Denzel Washington portrayed me pretty accurately in my eponymous film, but don't you get the feeling that either him or Jamie Foxx are the automatic go-tos for insert historic black person. If there was a movie about you Al, I'd cast Lawrence Fishbourne or Djimon Hounsou."

Tupac: "The United States government murdered me!"

Biggie Smalls: "No, it was me, Bitch."

5/16/2008 3:25 PM, New York
5 comments

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Comments

Bozo the Clown:

Rev. (yeah right!) Al... I've always considered myself the laughing stock of the country..until you came along. Thanks for taking the pressure off.

5/16/2008 5:15 PM

Krusty the Klown:

FRAUD!

5/17/2008 8:27 PM

Home town girl:

If people like you Rev. would shut up about whites, then racism might just die down. Every time we see your racist ass on TV you cause our hatred to rise again.

5/20/2008 11:39 PM

Atlanta resident.:

Not to be outdone, Spelman College--the historically black women's college right next to Morehouse--has its first valedictorian who's never rolled her neck.

'Course, she is a quadriplegic but still...

5/26/2008 9:42 AM

stephanie:

i think that is pretty retarded we are trying to get over this racism and people like you bring up negative things like that. SO what if a white dude was choosen to represent the college, if it had been reverse you would have been cheering him on. Look lets get over this racism because everyone is equal no matter what people think no one's better than anyone else life is life. I'm black so i know if you don't give people reason enough to begrudge you then you want have to worry, settle down with the racist stuff it's childish!!!!!!

2/23/2009 3:48 PM