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Al Sharpton’s Blog

I hope a white person does something racist because I have nothing to do this weekend

By Al Sharpton

Bio & Blog

It's been quiet around here for a little while. I'm not bored ... just ... it's quieter than usual.

Okay fine, here's the deal: I had plans for Saturday, and it was something that was gonna be like an all day thing. But they just called and canceled, like literally just got off the phone ... and now I got nothing. My weekend is suddenly empty. And all my friends are busy because I told them I was gonna be busy.

I'm just saying ... it might be cool if something happened that really pissed me off. Then I'd have shit to do. Nothing big, I'm not picky. Maybe a sports announcer can say "negro" while referring to a brother athlete, or a white police officer can get let off for beating an African American gentleman who was escorting his momma to church. Yeah, that'd be good. See, I'm already starting to get a little pissed off just thinking about it. And that's good.

Nothing kills time like a good ol' fashioned boycott, and let's just say I've been listening extra-hard to Howard Stern and those Opie and Anthony fellas, and the second they slip the "N" word, I'm gonna rain down on their ass like the next Katrina.

Ahh Katrina. Man oh man oh man, those were the days. Not a second went by that I wasn't on TV being all like "shit's fucked up" or on the radio going like, "Bush is a demon". But you know, I gotta move on. This is a lifestyle, no living in the past.

Come on, Opie and Anthony. You know you want to. Just say the word. The "N" word.

Who fucking does that anyway, cancels plans for the weekend so soon? I was looking forward to it; I hadn't seen this friend in a while. Dumbass.

6/19/2008 2:24 PM, New York
34 comments

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Comments

Ann Coulter:

Shut your face you conniving sycophant.

6/19/2008 3:10 PM

Dennis Kucinich:

Al--check it out. Charlie Sheen left a phone message on Denise Richards' machine using the "N", and I don't mean "nubile". When you get the nomination in 2012, I get to be vice president for this tip, okay?

6/19/2008 3:16 PM

Michael Richards:

Well, I've got a stand-up gig tomorrow nite if you wanna drop by!

6/19/2008 4:05 PM

Hillary Clinton:

How about if I act black again?

6/19/2008 5:08 PM

Nouri al-Maliki:

Goony-google

6/19/2008 5:09 PM

Tom Brady:

If I did coke with Ben Sparks off a strippers ass, does that count?

6/19/2008 5:23 PM

Quentin Tarantino:

I can use the phrase "dead nigger storage" again in my next film for you, Al.

6/19/2008 5:35 PM

Mel Gibson:

I don't think those dirty Jews that run CBS or XM satellite radio would let O&A utter that word and if they did it would be dumped faster than Lacy and 'Lil Connor.

6/19/2008 5:49 PM

Rachael Ray:

I'd like O&A to cram a bottle of E.V.O.O. in my A.S.S.

6/19/2008 5:56 PM

Dr. Phil:

I think that if you were loved as a child, you wouldn't have these issues. I suggest that rather than using the "N" word, you replace it with the word "special" or "super". And I'm gay.
O & A PARTY ROCK!

6/19/2008 5:59 PM

Howie Mandel:

I'd slip a racial slur in "Deal", but those network suckers have me on a delay. No fist pounds for them.

6/19/2008 6:03 PM

David Lynch:

You can get angry at my last name.

6/19/2008 6:05 PM

Bill O'Reilly:

FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!!!!!~!!!!!

6/19/2008 6:28 PM

Al Sharpton:

Hey...

I have an idea -

Nooser

It will be the new "N" word !

6/19/2008 6:51 PM

Tom Cruise:

You don't know racism Al. I do.

6/20/2008 11:38 AM

Dane Cook:

How about I steal a black comic's material, Al?

6/20/2008 12:25 PM

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad:

In Iran, we don't have niggers, like in your country.

6/21/2008 9:53 AM

Snoop Dogg:

I need a hunnie,...yea, that playboy bunnie, Miss hilary skank, I know ya readers gon think this is funnie, i'd give hilary's ass a spank with my black cocka doodle dooOOooOO. i'da fuck that hoe, and cheat on my wife fore the fun of it, cuz women these days are trippin, I went to the bar, and this bitch scared of Snoop dogg and moved far, I'm guessing their retards, got my dick so hard when their dancing on the poles,..i'll give Hilary the biggest butthole lol this is a disrespect to Mr. Clinton for cheating with monica, i'll sit back laugh and drink a heineken, with my nigga TUPAC laughing at the racism and that punk Bush. Al sharpton don't stop, what u doin brotha.!! heh hehee

6/21/2008 9:53 PM

Flavor Flav:

FIGHT THE POWER!! YEAAA,...CHUCK D IN THE HOUSE. TUPAC IN THE HOUSE.
FLAVOR FLAAAAAAAVVVVV.!!! PUBLIC ENEMY!

6/21/2008 9:55 PM

Hugh Hefner:

All my sexy ladies,...shake it for me. To the ladies in IRAQ, I wanna see that THONG, coming down and some pussy poppin, and ass shaking,...good to hear SUDDAM is dead, it's time to PAAARRRTTTAAAYYYY!!!
SHAKE THAT SHIT!!!

6/21/2008 9:56 PM

Bill Gates:

I'm the richest man on the planet. DO U WANT TO MAKE A BILLION JUST LIKE ME???

I'LL LET U IN ON A LIL SECRET. THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END....JESUS SPOKE ABOUT THE END....
GO TO CHURCH, BECAUSE I DID THAYT...I PRAYED THAT GOD WOULD BLESS ME,...
AND GIVE ME THE DESIRES OF MY HEART, I WORK TOWARDS MY GOAL FOR YEARS AND NEVER STOPPED...THAT"S HOW I BECAME A BILLIONAIRE ON MICROSOFT...
I DISPLAYED SOMETHING PEOPLE COULD USE, TO MAKE IT EASIER AND FASTER, I CREATED IBM...
I WORKED ON IT FOR HOURS< AND I HAD HELP BY GOD, I ASKED PERMISSION FOR HIM TO HELP, AND PRAYED DAY AND NIGHT TO BE SUCCESSFUL TO ALL THE CHILDREN OUT THERE<...DO NOT BE LIKE HUGH HEFNER...HE'S OLD...AND CRUMBLING, FORNICATION AND SEX LEADS TO DEATH...I SUGGEST ONE WOMEN IS ENOUGH, BUT COME ON,...LADIES IN IRAQ,...I'VE HIDDEN FROM THAT MANY, THEY'D TEAR ME APART IF THEY KNEW I HAD THAT MUCH MONEY.!! ;-D ON SECOND THOUGHT...I'D FEEL HORNY...FOR ONE NOT THREE WOMEN. I DON'T LIKE KISSING ON SPIT,...OR SHARING, ANOTHER MANS WIFE, WITH SPIT IN HER MOUTH...THAT"S DIGUSTING.!!!

6/21/2008 10:01 PM

Michael Jackson:

Why would Mahmoud say such a thing? The N word is not nice to use...it was during our ancestors time back in slavery. Why why whyyyyy? we need to touch each other..and love each other...and be caring, instead of racism, with fighting and pushing and cursing. How awwwwwwwwwwwfffuuuuulllll. so cruel this world could do better than destroy lives,...the N word is being used so wrongfully and abusively...I believe the N word stands for Never Ignorant Getting Goals Accomplished... TUPAC SHAKUR explained it so welll,...i'da hug him.!! Perhaps he'd be angry with the touching part, but yeah, I wanna make it clear, just like prince said it best..

NUMBER ONE... I'm not GAY.
NUMBER TWO...my name is MICHEAL JACKSON...the king of POP...
NUMBER ZERO... I LOVE WOMEN...Huhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!
NUMBER THREE...I HEARD RUMORS THAT TUPAC SHAKUR IS ALIVE!

6/21/2008 10:08 PM

Snoop Dogg:

YOU HEARD TUPAC IS ALIVE?? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY PUT HIS PICTURE UP HERE THEN???

SUGE KNIGHT BETTER WATCH HIS BACK,...TUPAC IS GONNA GET SUGE MERKED!!
MY BROTHA IS ALIVE...HE'S ALIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!!! HE'S COMING TO MAKE MORE ALBUMS AND HITS AND BEAT SUGE'S ASS FOR THE PLOT TO ASSASINATE

6/21/2008 10:10 PM

Tyra Banks:

Ramone and Frunkus in the morning.
6-10am WHIV 106.3

Ramone and Frunkus in the morning.
6-10am WHIV 106.3

Ramone and Frunkus in the morning.
6-10am WHIV 106.3

6/21/2008 10:32 PM

Matty:

hey sharpton...FUCK YOU! you racist hypocritical fat bitch

6/22/2008 11:07 AM

George W. Bush:

Hey Al. How is this for the "N" word? I'm going to give the order to nuke Iraq.

6/23/2008 5:54 AM

Samuel L. Jackson:

I hate all this mutha F'ning knitters on this mutha F'ning blog! I'm a knitter and i approve of this message

6/24/2008 12:17 PM

Amy Winehouse:

*COUGH

6/24/2008 4:05 PM

John Edwards:

My daddy was a mill worker.

6/24/2008 6:11 PM

Vladimir Putin:

Checkmate, American piglets!

6/25/2008 1:08 PM

John Mayer:

Hi Al,

I sometimes wonder what the big deal about the "N" word is myself. And for that matter, and to cut down on the confusion, I sometimes say it from time to time. The more we say it, the less hateful it becomes, until one day it's as accepted as calling women bitches.

6/25/2008 11:45 PM

Voldemort:

Dirty Mudbloods!

6/30/2008 2:59 PM

Peyton Manning:

Why is everybody so angry? Football season hasn't even started yet. And hey, Hammy-Voldemort: The Hobbits will win!

7/3/2008 4:04 PM

Alex Rodriguez:

"Cause we are living in a material world, and I am a material..." Oh I hope Derek didn't hear me singing in the locker room...

7/11/2008 4:30 PM