All these years, I've gotten it wrong. So wrong.

Before I go any further, let me make sure you remember who I am. AL SHARPTON. I used to be the most talked about, Googled, face-attached-to-a-dartboard black activist out there. And now? Yesterday's race baiter.

Jesse Jackson, my first instinct was to criticize. But only after your second round of headline-grabbing do I realize your genius. The key isn't to call out other people for foolishness, Tomfoolery, and a fool's gold. The key is to race-bait with your own comments.

Jesse, I have so much to learn. Will you teach me? I want our mentor-protege relationship to warrant a montage to a really cheesy 80s song.

What if I said John McCain is gay? Do I need to have a reason or is there no method to your madness? I think Nancy Pelosi has a penis.  And that John McCain had gay sex with that penis?

Am I getting warm? Jesse, let me know! I'm your # 1 fan!