So the other night, I'm hanging out with a few friends and me phone rings. Like, me own personal cell. I don't (soberly) give that number to any old bloke. I even had it changed the last time Blake called me to cry about prison food. Anyway, I didn't recognize the number. Looked American.
"Amy? Hey, this is Charlie Sheen."
Total blank. I ask around and somebody sez he's that troubled actor. So I tell him I loved him in Iron Man.
"No, um… Two and a Half Men, Wall Street, Platoon…?"
"Wall Street Platoon? Is that a comedy, then?"
He tells me he's always loved me voice and albums and lifestyle. Kept repeating "lifestyle."
"Really, I think we're so similar. Lifestyle-wise." He goes on about how he loves hearing news of me parties coz his new lady doesn't like fun.
"You know how to have fun, Amy. I mean, Brooke's fun, she's great, but…she doesn't get our kind of fun. Did I mention I'm getting married tomorrow? Married, yup. This one's, uh, this one's gonna, you know, last." Then he sighs into the phone. "Wanna get together? I can be on a plane in an hour."
Fucking hell. I tell him I'm already married and kind of busy.
"Sure, yeah, no problem. This was stupid of me. I mean, I am getting married, right? To the good girl! Wouldn't know a bong if I clubbed her with it!" Then he started laughing really loud. I hung up.
I looked him up later. He does seem fun, doesn't he? Hope he drops by some time.
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Sean Penn:
Even my man Charlie can't be so screwed up to consider this skank. Keep having those drug dreams Amy as that is as close to Charlie as you will ever be.
6/9/2008 2:10 PMSean Penn:
Even my man Charlie can't be so screwed up to consider this skank. Keep having those drug dreams Amy as that is as close to Charlie as you will ever be.
6/9/2008 2:10 PMAngelina Jolie:
Charlie Sheen is so filthy disgusting he must have given his "wife" more drugs than Amy has taken in her life. How else can you explain anyone ever marrying him? He is the most repulsive scum ever conceived. How can anyone even bear to look at his face? UGH!
6/10/2008 9:46 PMAlanis Morissette:
I'm pretty sure this is true. Remember my one hit from way back when (I'll have another soon -- I promise) that was called "You Oughta Know," do you remember, huh? It was about Charlie. And you know the line, "Would she go down on you in a theatre?" I did that, it was at an AMC in the Valley that was showing one of Charlie's movies. I had to do something, couldn't stand watching the movie. I just thought you oughta know.
7/1/2008 6:49 PM