I suppose you've heard by now luv.  It looks like my nose is going to fall off -- soon.

Who'd have thought that when I started Hoovering up line after line of cocaine every day that it would have an adverse effect on me health? There was no warning on the side of the baggie, or whatever it came in.

Now, I'm reduced to mixing cocaine into cotton candy with a handy machine me friends surprised me with! If we run out of coke, we can still make loads of money at kids' birthday parties and bar/bat mitzvahs!

But the important thing I want you--my adoring fans--to know, is that even if--I mean when--I lose me nose, it won't mean the end of a glorious singing career.

I'll still have my mouth. It will just look a little--different.

Underneath the gaping hole above.