The other day Maria and I vere playing my favorite game, “Vat vould I do if I vas constitutionally allowed to be President?” I said, I vould sort out the problem in Afghanistan mit Sylvester Stallone, the truly last action hero, ja? Maria thought he didn’t have enough diplomatic experience. I laff at her! He has as much as I do and I am the Guvner’ of da’ most populous state in Amerika! And, I tell silly voman, he has been to Afghanistan and kicked some ass.

She then say that that vas in Rambo III and he was fighting with the Mujahedeen, who were the same as the mega-baddie guys Taliban. I really hate it when she shits on my dreams und aspirations und makes me feel like a meaty toy-boy with the intellect of a bratwurst and the body of a God. Stupid voman. I vould still send Rambo.