Ja, so vhen I vas a teacher in Kindergarten Cop, da kiddies dere taught me da alphabet. It is really useful. So vhen I read about Flabby man John McCain's environmental policies, I give him an "F" grade, because he sucks on da environment. There are lots of other vords that begin vit "F" that I like. Like Fanny, ja, dat is a good one. She has got a nice F-anny, or, dat Fanny bag is cool, or, you need to pump up your -anny muscles. Also, I gave Obama and Clinton "B" grades, 'cause I also like "B" words. Like B-arack o-B-ama is a B-ig girlie Boy. And Hillary Clinton is a B-eeatch. Anyvay, I could go on for hours.

So go back and do your homevork Flabby man McCain, or else I vill kick your Butt. Now I just have to remember da rest of the alphabet and maybe even vatch a little bit of Sesame Street. I love dat show. And don't Forget, I'll be Back. Hahahaha, ja, I am a Barrel of Fun. 

(Photo credit: Associated Press)