So Hillary’s campaign is alleging I wrote an essay in KINDERGARTEN and then again in third grade in which I saidI wanted to be President. And now she looks like the biggest freaking fool of all time. Hill, You tried to sling mud but slipped, fell and ruined your pretty pantsuit.
My spokesman Ben LeBolt had a witty retort:
All I’ll say is that we’re preparing for the charge that Obama flip-flopped when he decided in 2nd grade that he wanted to be an astronaut.
In the industry we call that a zinger. But in all seriousness LaBolt has reminded me of my abandoned dreams of aerospace. That’s why I’m dropping out of the race to pursue my second love — intergalactic space travel.
I remember in second grade thinking wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could find a planet out there (Neptune?) where we could ship all the disgusting girls to. With the remaining men, I will build bridges. Space bridges. They’ll connect Earth to all sorts of cool galaxies where aliens are playing awesome new sports and have cool monster trucks and/or really fast sports car.
Vote Barack Obama for Astronaut in ‘08.