Associated Press

I got a busy weekend coming up, readers. Including juggling Oprah and important corn ethanol energy bills.

Well call me Sophie, because this sure is a pickle! On one hand Iowans (like all people) love Oprah, and having her at the rally would be a boon. But on the other hand missing a superficially important vote on corn ethanol could be used against me in a state where ethanol is such an important issue. What’s a brother to do?

It’s a tough choice, but I’ve decided to choose … BOTH! How, you ask? I introduce to you Oprahnol! Like all mythical creatures, Oprah possesses fanciful abilities including control over time and space and lots and lots of money. By the magic of Oprah I can fly to Washington Saturday morning to cast my vote and look all serious and senatorial, then roll up my sleeves and jet back to Iowa!

In other news, if, like me, you’re already preparing for next Halloween here’s a handy website for some costume ideas. When the girls get out of line, Michelle and I just print off some of these pictures and tell them the Hill-monster is coming to get them. Like a transsexual chupacabra.