There has been a lot of talk recently about how no one can seem to find a joke (or at least a tasteful one … New Yorker, I’m looking at you) to make about Mr. Democratic Nominee. How can that be true? I have plenty to eccentricities to play off. I’m not some polished figure that’s simply smart, responsible and a symbol of much needed change. So, I’ve done you all a favor and compiled a list of ways to make fun of me if the occasion arises. No need to continue to laugh at how old Mr. McCain looks, acts and administers government. In no particular order:

1. I’m pretty tall, not that tall… but taller than most people. I’m also skinny, in good shape really, but skinny in the eyes of most Americans.

2. I didn’t go to Yale, Harvard or Princeton for my undergraduate degree. Sure, I went to Columbia, but even President Bush went to Yale and look at that guy.

3. I was born in Hawaii… that’s a weird state, right?

4. My initials spell B.O. Did someone not shower today? ( I did shower today though. I always do.)

I hope this was helpful to all you SNL and Daily Show writers. I mean, I can be fun too. As fun as any white President. So next time you’re in a pitch meeting, say YES WE CAN to humor about yours truly.

(Photo credit: Associated Press)