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Oh man. The Founding Fathers had some serious foresight when they created the lame duck period between election day and inauguration. I'm not sure I'll be recovered from this headache until January 20th of 2010! The last thing I remember is David Plouffe doing body shots off of Axelrod. I woke up on Rahm Emanuel's couch still wearing my suit. Crazy.
Hey did anyone notice how spot on McCain's concession speech was? His oratory awkwardness replaced by grace and fluidity. His message heavily soaked in a refreshing authenticity. It was so convincing you almost forgot how outdated his stances were on economics and foreign affairs and wanted him to be president. He should start a career as a concession speech writer or something.
People ask me if I'm going to be nostalgic about the campaign now that it's over. Are you kidding? 21 freaking months of shaking hands and giving the same stupid performances. It's probably like being in the Rolling Stones.
As I said in my acceptance speech our work hasn't even begun. But that is another day. Today is for recovery -- both with our disappointed brothers and sisters across the aisle, as well as with our bodies -- which may not have been accustomed to three flutes of champagne, a fifth of Jack and seven Jello shots.
Sarah Palin:
Well, I guess I was just a little depressed last night and did the same thing. There are pictures of me rubbing my tits on McCain's head. His wife is so gosh darn angry, but I didn't mean anything by it. Gosh darn it, I don't even remember that.
11/6/2008 5:47 AMBill Clinton:
Can we see those pictures?
11/6/2008 12:30 PMLindsay Lohan:
I'm blitzed all the time! YAY!
11/6/2008 7:37 AMBill Clinton:
Where the hell have I been??!
11/6/2008 2:02 PMAnn Coulter:
All of America got fucked last night.
11/7/2008 9:08 AMAnn Coulter:
Except, of course, me.
11/7/2008 12:33 PMBill Clinton:
I can fix that...
11/15/2008 1:46 PMJoe Biden:
Holy cow, you really will fuck anything, won't you?
11/15/2008 4:25 PMBill Clinton:
Yep, up to and including your wife.
11/16/2008 2:27 PMGeorge W. Bush:
Did I miss the party?? How come I wasn't invited?
11/24/2008 12:28 PMMahmoud Ahmadinejad:
Hey Georgie, even I got invited to the party.hahahaha. you're such a fucking douche.
12/5/2008 4:22 AMTom Cruise:
Hey everyone its me. The most famous actor in the world. don't you just love me? (bush I hate you.) Gosh I love me. i am so in love with myself.
11/24/2008 12:30 PMBill O'Reilly:
There is nothing wrong with a little "self-loving" (incidentally, Tom, I prefer anal too). Scientology, on the other hand, well . . .
11/24/2008 2:48 PMJohn Mayer:
You guys prefer anal, too? Whew, glad it wasn't just me... 'Cause Jen says I'm way to into it. And so did Jess. And so did Perez Hil -- whoops, haha, almost slipped up there.
11/24/2008 7:06 PMAndrew Yu-Jen Wang:
Speaking of Barack Obama:
Barack Obama is a racial-minority individual, and in his heart and mind he inevitably does not endorse hate crimes committed by George W. Bush.
George W. Bush committed hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism (indicated in my blog).
George W. Bush did in fact commit innumerable hate crimes.
And I do solemnly swear by Almighty God that George W. Bush committed other hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism which I am not at liberty to mention.
Many people know what Bush did.
And many people will know what Bush did—even to the end of the world.
Bush was absolute evil.
Bush is now like a fugitive from justice.
Bush is a psychological prisoner.
Bush has a lot to worry about.
Bush can technically be prosecuted for hate crimes at any time.
In any case, Bush will go down in history in infamy.
Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993
“GEORGE W. BUSH IS THE WORST PRESIDENT IN U.S. HISTORY” BLOG OF ANDREW YU-JEN WANG
3/6/2009 12:12 AM______________________
I am not sure where I had read it before, but anyway, it is a linguistically excellent statement, and it goes kind of like this: “If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memories so they never got stale and faded.” Oh wait—off the top of my head—I think the quotation came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.