Okay, a great big "gotcha" about my Senate seat being for sale by Rod Blajkov, er, Blogavej . . . the Governor of Illinois.

I lived in Chicago--what did you expect? A League of Women Voters silent auction?

So just get over it, okay? Like I told Joe the Plumber, we're trying to spread the wealth around.

But as long as we're on the subject, I've got a few more things in Chicago that I don't want to move to the White House. Before I list them on eBay, I thought I'd post them on my blog and let people bid--that way I avoid sales commissions. Here we go!

Portable Basketball Goal: This used to drive my neighbors nuts. Some professor plunks down a million bucks for a condo in Hyde Park, moves in and looks out his bay window to see me draining three-point shots from behind my trash cans. There goes the neighborhood! Includes new all-weather chain-link net.

Black leather Chicago street gang coat: This is de rigeur when you walk down to Harold's Chicken Shack for the Livers & Gizzards Bucket. Let's everybody know you're comfortable with your own bad self! Michelle doesn't want me to wear it when we have Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni over for cocktails. Women--can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Great Books of the Western World: For some reason, the first thing people at the University of Chicago do when they come to your house for a party is look at your bookshelves. If you don't have this set--which is not sold in grocery stores--you'll never hear the end of it. "Can you imagine," they say as they walk to their cars. "He doesn't know jack about Ptolemy!"

So get your wallets out, and have your major credit card ready. This stuff will go fast! And each item comes with a guaranty.

If you get arrested for bribery, I'll give you a pardon!