Well the season started, and no one is really talking about me. So I thought I'd log in to get some dialogue flowing. Have you visited my official website yet? No? You have a job and are busy working? Oh OK. Well, there's some important evidence presented on it that vindicates me ...
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Multiply this lat-pull times, like, a billion, and now you get why I don't need roids, assholes.
If I got this strong because of steroids, wouldn't I have a picture of me getting a dorsogluteal injection on my homepage instead? That's what I thought.
Barack Obama:
I see you writing a memoir titled "The Audacity of Dope." I'm going to send you my literary agent's number, Barry.
3/26/2008 3:23 PMBarry Bonds:
Cool. Email it to nextquestionasshole@barryisawesome.com
3/26/2008 4:54 PMBiggest Fan:
Hey Barry,
Obama is just jealous because he is not going to get elected! Thank God for that as he and his communist preacher would surely turn on us like the liars they really are.
Anyway Stay cool and wait for your number to come up. Imagine if the Yankees were to sign you... Who would opposing teams pitch to? Maybe the pitcher... oh nevermind I forgot in the American League the pitchers dont bat. Speaking of that... I believe it was obama that invented the switch hit... If you know what I mean.
Good luck man! See you in October Baby! Get U a ring!
3/26/2008 7:23 PMBarack Obama:
Biggest Fan, by "switch hit," do you mean the way Barry and I take turns with your mother? I assure you switch hit in that sense was "invented" by Barry, but I was sure in the coalition of the willing.
3/27/2008 12:42 PMAlex Rodriguez:
Switch hitting is a technical baseball term in which by the batter can hit from either the right side of the plate or the left with equal prowess. Similarly a switch hitter in rollerblading can wear the skate with the brake on either foot as he/she is equally adept at stopping with either skate. Which sport applied the term first is a subject of great debate in both communities.
3/27/2008 12:51 PMBarry Bonds:
And do they pursue criminal charges for rollerbladers who can barely skate forwards one day, and then, a short offseason later, suddenly skate backwards with surprising skill ? No. Why? Because rollerbladers are fags, that's why
3/27/2008 1:11 PM