First Greenspan criticizes my efforts to clean up the subprime mess of an economy he left me, and now former Fed Chair Paul Volcker has accused me of operating at "the very edge" of my legal authority. If rescuing Bear Stearns (and therefore the economy in general) is pushing my authority, then I don't want to be an authority-following quasi-governmental non-elected executive officer.

Paul's very bitter because the president who appointed him (Jimmy Carter) couldn't farm his own peanut, much less expand his legal authority. If there's one thing President Bush taught me (and there is only one thing he taught me), it's that a federal executive has the authority to expand his own authority. My charter was clearly to save the economy through any means necessary.

I hereby declare Paul Volcker an enemy combatant to the economy of the United States of America and issue a warrant for his arrest. We're in the process of building our first Federal Reserve Prison. He will be tried, and if necessary executed, in private so as not to cause any disruptions to the markets.