The Fed Chairmanship is a lonely role. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one being terrorized by a man so obsessed with his own legacy that he's willing to distort the truth and ruin the lives of others for personal gain. That man is, of course, Alan Greenspan.

It seems Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has his own Greenspan. Quite literally. Aaron Greenspan, an ex-classmate of Mark's at Harvard, is attempting to stop Facebook from using its name unless he's paid off -- claiming he used the name Facebook first. Little Greenspan makes me ashamed to call myself a Harvard graduate and even made me think twice about putting on my crimson boxer shorts this morning. Mark, much like myself, is hard at work trying to stimulate the economy in his own way.

The article does not say if Aaron Greenspan and Alan Greenspan are related. While I realize Greenspan is a relatively common last name, this strand of evil is a rarity even in the wake of such poor monetary policy. I'd place the odds that they're within two degrees in the family tree at 93%.