What a glorious night! The gods and angels of Hollywood land have ruled that our movie is the best. And moreover, it is now believed that anyone on the production credits was embued with the spirit of Vishnu, and is considered by the state of India to be a demigod.

There will be a parade tomorrow, through the streets of Mumbai in my honor. I have heard that Himalayas mountain towns have applied to re-name their terrotories in my namesake.

The Key Grip on the movie was encased in liquid gold. The Gaffer was awarded the presidency of India, and the seven electricians are his cabinet. They will be hard at work make sure India is well lit for the next eight years.

I must go now. There are 80 virgins that just arrived that are insisting on feeding me grapes.