Read my lips. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Which means I nailed the bitch.

Hillary and I have a modern marriage. We each have a list of people we can have sex with without ramifications. Her list is Patrick Moynihan and Bill Nye. Mine has 75,000 names.

I particularly remember this day because I was wrapped in a sheet with a hole in it and Gina had a towel on her head and then the fire alarm went off and we had to rush outside. Or not. Damn! I really can't remember anything since my operation.

Of course Gina is denying. Sweet, sexy, shit for brains Gina promised not to reveal anything that would reflect badly on Hillary's presidential run and has no idea that her campaign is deader than Samuel Jackson's acting career.

Oh, and by the way, they are real and they are spectacular.