As viewers of the Factor know, I do not coddle. I've written often about my working class Levittown background and I stand firm that what I wrote had truth to it. So when I read about penguins being effected by climate change and fishing habits, I become skeptical, America. Very, very skeptical.
Let's start out with what's obvious. Penguins being effected by global climate change? They live in Antarctica! Even if it is getting a bit warmer, that can only help them.
The Times tells us that breeding pairs have decreased by 22 percent since 1987, well maybe they're just not working hard enough at getting laid? My breeding pairs have increased by at least 22 percent since 1987, and do you know why? Because I recognized that there was a problem, so I became a celebrity and started getting girls. If penguins are to become a part of this society that we take seriously, they've got to start that by taking some personal responsibility.
And let's not forget one more thing. Do you know where penguins live? Antarctica. I'm here in America. I don't see the connection! Take a look at this penguin and tell me what's wrong with the picture:
That's right. He's gotten so fat and lazy from American aid packages that he can't even sit up!
Shouldn't the Antarctican government be dealing with this issue? Is there a reason that we hard working American tax payers should have to deal with penguin problems? The only penguins I want to hear about are in Pittsburgh and the zoo, alright? Let's be honest, OK? The only reason these guys are getting a spot in the paper is because the left-wing media is pro-penguin. Try to spin THAT, Franken.
Pico:
Before polar bears, porpoise, and penguins, there were plankton!
I believe you've strayed off tack, sorry I meant a tack, on your report on the plight of the penguins. Surely the key to their endangerment is the dramatic changes in dust born mineral micronutrients now denied the Southern Ocean as a consequence of the hundreds of billions of tonnes of CO2 spewed into the atmosphere. It's not about the climate change effects per se it is about the lack of iron to sustain the phyto-plankton. Of course as the drift of ice, and its' winter store of dust is restrained to the south this loss of iron is due to climate change. But the far bigger effect is the overall decline in dust arriving in the Southern Ocean which is literally starving the food chain from the bottom up.
The amount of CO2 in the air today is not going to come to equilibrium for at least 200 years even if we don't put another molecule into our air. The virtual instantaneous insult of our CO2 burden is equivalent to a swimming pool chemical shock treatment, you know the thing we do to swimming pools when they get a little too green and slimy. In scheme of evolutionary adaptation our CO2 ocean shock treatment is far too quick, like our overnight swimming pool shocks, for the system to adapt.
There is hope but it will require our taking immediate responsibility for the deprivation of mineral micro-nutrients and acting to replenishment of same. Restoring photosynthesis is the single hope we have for ecorestoration of the oceans and for the penguins, polar bear, and porpoise.
read more at www.planktos-science.com
7/1/2008 4:17 PMBritney Spears:
U r gay
7/1/2008 10:20 PMBarbara Walters:
Akchewally Bill, I beweive pengwins get waid more than you.
7/1/2008 9:26 PMBill O'Reilly:
bitch, you haven't seen dick since teddy roosevelt died.
8/20/2008 3:32 AMBigfoot:
I like waffles
9/11/2008 12:21 PMBill Clinton:
Hmmm... penguins, eh? I'm willing to hit that - I'm not picky.
10/2/2008 6:37 PMBill O'Reilly:
On a related note, I once trained a penguin to anally pleasure me. Unfortunately, after the first "session," the penguin blew his brains out with an AK-47.
10/20/2008 2:52 PMBenigna Marko:
I didn't catch your program last night. I was rushing around and forgot to tune in to you. I sure hope you have a re-run of last night's program. I did tune in later as the President and his First Lady entered. Sorry.
1/21/2009 4:17 PMBenigna Marko