Komdu sæl Senator Hillary! I have some good news for you: I have completed construction of my super-creature out of the hair ðat I find in my drain, and she is ready to enter battle against Obama and ðe Superdelegacy. Her name is Hairally and she is a powerful warrior, like my ancestor Guðrún Allt í lagi (Gudrun of ðe braided beard).

I hope ðat you are well-prepared for ðe battle of Transylvania primacy. We must beware ðat Obama has made alliances with ðe barbers who are Hairally’s nemesis and possess strong weapons to combat her.

 We will be fighting at your side, so remember this motto of my family: when the fur is flying, the bush is first to retreat.