Hey man, welcome to my first column … Gonna just lay some facts and editorials on ya … Things were better in the good old days, man … Like, in the 1930s… Except for segregation … and the Great Depression … and no electricity … or indoor plumbing … but the music was really good … No one knows this, but I once had a threeway with Judy Collins and Tiny Tim … In 1967 I think it was … Speaking of a “Great Depression,” someone just told me Arrested Development was cancelled … A year ago … I never seen it, though … I can play guitar better than George Harrison … But that’s only ‘cause he’s been dead so long … I write this on a typewriter … The ribbon smells like a newsroom I visited once … The good thing about a typewriter is you can’t go back and change anything you wrote … Like that Judy Collins/Tiny Tim thing might not be true … But thank to Typewriter, it’s there for the ages … I been nominated for a Nobel Prize for Literature, man … Like, 9 times… Next time they’re thinking about giving out one of those, they should give it to Danielle Steel … ‘Cause if Bungalow 2 is anything like Sisters, I better buy stock in Kleenex … ‘Cause it’s gonna cause a lotta crying … A lotta people don’t know this, but Johnny Angel was my inspiration for the song Workingman’s Blues #2 … Don’t forget to buy my album Modern Times in stores and on Amazon … But you don’t have to do both, unless you want more than one copy…