People think that I am just being crotchety because there is some gray in my beard. Not true: I am crotchety all the time. In fact, I’m not even old. I am an ageless automaton here on Earth to rid it of sub-par advertising.
Okay, okay, that’s not true. But you thought that it might be for a minute, didn’t you?
Enough about me, let’s talk about how bad the culture at large is.
Third on my list of things that I hate behind Comcast and cold lattes, and in front of BBDO and advertising in general, are bloggers.
These people don’t even have actual columns in publications that get printed on paper yet they think that they can comment on advertising and such. This is completely ridiculous in every way. Clearly only someone like me, a trained journalist who has never worked in advertising is qualified to comment on this industry. If fact, I may be the only person qualified to make critical commentary on anything.
Let’s take a trip down memory lane to discuss a commercial totally unrelated to the one I am reviewing before veering off into a diatribe against Comcast and finally getting to the point of the article.
The year is 2003 and Crispin, Porter + Bogusky’s is launching their first campaign, mimicking a little-known television show from England, The Office, to sell hamburgers. I hate the spot because it is relevant to people who are younger than I and listen to loud music. Loud music frightens and irritates me.
Comcast also irritates me. I have been waiting since September to get television and internet service at my house, and they still haven’t turned up! Mark me down as skeptical that it will ever happen.
How can I review the new Monster.com spot by BBDO without television and internet at home, you may ask? The answer is simple: I’m Bob Fucking Garfield and I know everything about advertising.
If you are looking for even more advertising commentary from the industry’s most intelligent, sharp-tongued and handsome writer, you have come to the right place.
Unlike the so-called official blog over at AdAge that I never post on, this one is the true mausoleum of my unfiltered thoughts and opinions. What will you witness, dear reader? Unalloyed brilliance from the bearded one.
Before we get started, it is important for the reader to understand a few things:
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