My trip to Japan is turning out to be the Best. Trip. Guess who planted a tree whilst in Japan?!!

ME!!!

You're probably wondering about the white gloves. I have a dirt phobia, but I bravely did my share for some cause I don't really understand. Anyone know what the hell a sea forest is?

I also earned -- well, received (same diff) -- a Doctorate in Law from Keio University, roughly the equivalent of the vaunted  Phoenix University in the States. The little guy who bestowed it upon me said some B.S. about said degree being "honourary," but that's just a technicality, I'm sure.

Go ahead and make a good "passing the bar" joke at your favourite Guinness-chugging rock star's expense. I'll wait. Again, billable hours are applicable, and I round up.

The important thing to take from all this is that I'll sue anyone who doesn't address me as "Dr. Bono." On the other hand, "Barrister Bono" has a nice ring. To anyone who fears that Dr. Barrister Bono has lost his sense of humor, check this out.

Nothing but a solid gold shovel for me.

Sadly, I think I have sun poisoning. I'm so going to sue the whole frigging nation of Japan. Ooh, and I see some sushi that's been sitting out in the sun all day. I almost hope I get food poisoning. Can't WAIT to represent myself in court!

(Photos from happymagazine.com)