So, apparently people keep burning the popcorn in offices in Seattle, and now they want to ban it. I don’t know what an office is but Angie says it’s a bad place where monsters eat people. I hate that! I love popcorn and Angie lets me have it sometimes if I’ve been good. I don’t support the banishment of deliciousness. This sounds almost as bad as AIDS. We can’t go on like this. I told Angie we should make a movie about it, and she told me to shut up and get her another baby.

God I love her. I love popcorn. If babies were popcorn, my house would be a lot quieter. And more buttery.

Sometimes I think Angie has been slipping me drugs. I don’t feel right. When I ask her about it, she reminds me how happy I am and makes me eat a hot dog. At last count I think there were 11 children here. It’s hard to know exactly how many children we have adopted. I asked Angie the other day if we could have an American baby. There are plenty of children here in this country that need our love and ridiculous amounts of money. She told me to stop thinking and gave me a hot dog. I took a nap.

What were we talking about? Seattle. That town is rainy. I saw the movie Sleepless In Seattle. It was too chicky for me. What? Who’s there? Angie is that you? God, I hope you didn’t bring another baby home. I just want to play with George Clooney and eat popcorn.