Associated Press

Guess what! Angie says we are quitting Hollywood and moving to Berlin to settle down. I just have to finish up my Hollywood commitments, but once those are done, I am going to fulfill my dreams of being an architecturist. Angie told me she loved the idea. I almost got my degree in that, but wound up majoring in good looks instead.

Angie says that I can start by designing a new house for us and the children. Boy, do we have a lot of children. The internet says we have four, but it feels like a lot more.

I want to design a house just like those old mansions that have secret passageways and trap doors. That way, when Angie is looking for me to tell me where we are traveling next or wants me to eat more of her special soy hot dogs, I can hide really quickly.

I think Berlin will be really fun, but I will miss my friends. Angie says I don’t need friends now that I have her, and that Berlin will allow us to be alone, and that she is the only friend I need. George Clooney thinks Angie has been acting funny lately and that I should not let her isolate me so much. To that, Angie told him to “shut the hell up.” I think George is a little scared of Angie. I sometimes get scared of Angie, but then she lets me brush her hair and I feel better.