So, apparently people keep burning the popcorn in offices in Seattle, and now they want to ban it. I don’t know what an office is but Angie says it’s a bad place where monsters eat people. I hate that! I love popcorn and Angie lets me have it sometimes if I’ve been good. I don’t support the banishment of deliciousness. This sounds almost as bad as AIDS. We can’t go on like this. I told Angie we should make a movie about it, and she told me to shut up and get her another baby.

God I love her. I love popcorn. If babies were popcorn, my house would be a lot quieter. And more buttery.