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Britney Spears’ Blog

Baby advice for Jamie Lynn

By Britney Spears

Bio & Blog

You know what I was just thinkin’ about? Well first I was thinkin’ how it’s not fair that all dogs go to heaven. Or is that even true, or just a rumor? If I worked in Heaven, there are definitely some dogs I would make sure went straight to Hell; like the ones that are always staring at me like they know me? They don’t know me.

But then I was thinkin’ how maybe now that I’m sorta this wise and mature person, I should give some advice to my little sister Jamie Lynn. She could probably use it right now, and since we don’t talk much, I’ll just do it here.

Jamie Lynn,

Here’s all you need to remember: Babies think they know everything, but really they don’t – you probably know way more than a baby, even a smart one. Plus all they care about is themselves and when you’re gonna feed them n’ stuff, but you have to look out for yourself ‘cause it’s hard work being a mom. And if the lord gives you a crier, one trick I learned is that a baby can’t cry when he’s under water ;)

Also, after you have the nervous breakdown where you hold your kid hostage in the bathroom for hours, do not believe Dad when he says he just wants to take you shopping at the "cool new store" inside the mental ward at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center ...

4/3/2008 10:30 AM, Los Angeles

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Dalai Lama:

Holding baby in a pan of water is to force it to be Zen. Zen babies are more tasty. Am I right Chris? Also, Britney, what happened to you over spring break? Weren't we supposed to hang?

4/3/2008 12:33 PM

Christopher Walken:

(Emits long low whistle). I always knew you were a baby eater! My boy! His Holiness!

4/3/2008 1:00 PM

Mr. T:

What's this jibber jabber about eating babies? That kinda talk makes T so angry he feels like doing something crazy!
(Bites into baby.)

4/7/2008 12:24 PM

Miley Cyrus:

It's so nice when an old person with nothing to offer can give advice

4/3/2008 6:42 PM

Samuel L. Jackson:

Got-damn Destiny Hope Cyrus, shut your mother fuckin cock holster, man pleasing, cum encrusted mouth. My got-damn ass hairs contain more intelligence then you will ever fuckin produce, your one load I wish your mom had swallowed and what the fuckin hell is this mother fuckin shit I hear about you and Mandy Jiroux creating videos on YouTube? The Miley and Mandy Show, very fuckin original you cream pie. So I hear its also filmed in your fuckin love nest of a bed room. Got damn bitches, lets get some tittie shots. You know me. It’s my duty to please that booty.

4/4/2008 2:25 PM

Barbara Walters:

Oh my. I may swoon. I haven't heard language like that since Rosie left The View. Sam, would you like a job.

4/4/2008 3:54 PM


God you r so hot Samuel!

4/4/2008 8:48 PM

Oprah Winfrey:

Miley I didn't know you watched my show!

4/4/2008 11:13 AM

Al Gore:

I invented the cordless extension cord. Does that get me a Special on Oprah?

4/7/2008 2:43 PM

Paris Hilton:

That's so true if I have a baby I'll do that!

4/4/2008 8:43 PM

American Idol Judges:

Paula: How could you be so mean!
Randy:Yo Yo You Dogg I'm not feelin it!
Simon:Ridiculous my mum never did that to me!

4/4/2008 8:46 PM


Got that right!

4/4/2008 8:47 PM

Miley Cyrus:

Mr. Jackson you used some very naughty words. But you made me feel tingly all over. Someday maybe I'll date your grandsons

4/7/2008 6:02 PM

Samuel L. Jackson:

Only if my grandsons need to date a cracker Disney whore, which ain't got-damn likely.

4/7/2008 9:38 PM

Dalai Lama:

I, too, am real got-damn sick of those crackers acting all Buddha and shit!

4/8/2008 3:18 PM


Eating breakfast every day during pregnancy increases the chances of a boy. No joke!

6/9/2008 3:57 AM


Can you believe this??? A shirt she signed is going for $20,000 at an auction. Hahaha, ridiculous!!! God I love the stuff I find on Star 98's site...

7/5/2008 4:10 AM


she's hosting this year's VMA's! i found a great article about britney on kiis fm's web site. you can check it out now at

9/6/2008 11:05 AM


ya know, none of this matters. her new track, "womanizer," is HOT HOT HOT!!!!! i found it this morning at kiis fm's web site and it made my day!! check it out, here's the direct link-

9/27/2008 5:53 AM