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Christopher Walken’s Blog

My top ten worst people in the world list

By Christopher Walken

Bio & Blog

Here is a list of people in the world who make me want to brain myself with a shovel:

10. People with “Support Our Troops” ribbons on their cars. I have a “Support Our Ribbon Industry” ribbon on my bumper. truck.jpg

9. Anyone who refers to an apartment or an event venue as “a great space.” This is me in “a great space.” There are no yuppies there.

8. Anyone who carries around a Nalgene water bottle. If you refer to said bottle as “my Nalgene,” you deserve a list unto yourself.

7. Black babies with afros. Oh wait, for a second I thought this was my list of “Top 10 Best People in the World.” I love those little cuddlemonsters. I mostly just like to watch them play in the sandbox until I have no tears left.

6. That asshole who sits at a bank of computers all day writing “1st!” at the top of every comments log. Knock it off, douche.

5. Tan trust-fund daughters whose mastery of the English language is apparently limited to “I know, right?” and “Yeah you are!”. No you aren’t, bitch.

4. Sal Goldfarb. You know who the fuck you are, and you won’t make it through the year with both of your kidneys.

3. Tyra Banks. Just awful. Who knew?

2. That guy who makes a funny comment to me in the morning, enjoys my favorable response, and subsequently repeats the comment to other people who happen to sidle by, without giving me so much as a fucking wink or a “So I was telling Chris earlier…”. I would like nothing more than to tell a judge that I stabbed someone in the eye for rejoking.

1. This spot is forever reserved for the guy that makes a joke regarding his wish to be a gynecologist so that he may look at vaginas all day. God may one day let this guy look at a vagina, but if so, then He is an asshole.

This list is by no means exhaustive. Please feel free to add your own. I’ll go get my shovel…

11/14/2007 2:52 PM, Los Angeles
25 comments

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Comments

support our ribbons:

@soxs

Yes, you are wrong actually.

Nothing bad was said about the troops. "People with 'Support Our Troops' ribbons on their cars." If the best you can do to support your troops is to put a magnet on your car then you obviously fall short of supporting anyone.

So I guess this adds 2 more of the worst people...people who don't read and people who equate buying a ribbon with actually doing something.

11/20/2007 7:00 PM

Kishu:

I am the worst person I have ever seen in my life.

4/4/2008 10:25 PM

Anonymous:

You need to add train engineers who text while running the train if the rumor proves true

9/15/2008 12:05 PM

General Petraeus:

Hello. And Bye. :)

2/1/2009 12:40 PM

Military:

Hey homo........the money those ribbons make go back toward the troops.....before you dish crap out do your research....and oh yea, if you want proof, i'll give you proof........http://www.operation-support-our-troops.org/

4/17/2008 2:39 AM

angie:

JUST STFU jerk-off!!! it was a joke, okay????? Duhhhhhh.....

1/26/2009 3:43 PM

Christopher Walken:

Fuck you, Sal. Give me back my fondue set. Asshole.

11/19/2007 2:15 PM

Janass:

You forgot to mention the people who finish every other sentence with "You know what I'm talking about? And it isn't even a question.

11/20/2007 12:41 AM

Just Jen:

People who use the word awesome to describe everything.

11/19/2007 2:44 AM

Karen Kraft:

That is not me on that site, my mom is cyber-squatting.

11/19/2007 1:25 AM

santiago:

@Soxs how on earth is spending 3 bucks on little yellow magnet doing a god damn thing for anyone in uniform?

no where have I found a yellow ribbon selling website that claims any proceeds go to fund any troops be they boyscouts or marines.
http://www.magnetamerica.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&prod...
support the troops is such a bullshit comment, so is bringing up our freedoms. In the last 50 years more of our freedoms have been lost in the name of national security than have been threatened by foriegn powers.

11/29/2007 6:01 PM

kdl:

first

11/14/2007 4:30 PM

dmk:

I TOO hate nalgenes.

11/14/2007 8:29 PM

poeboy:

How about the guy at the football game with the big cardboard cutouts ot the "D" and the picket fence?
Not only are you a major douche, but an unoriginal major douche to boot.
Or the guy that hollers "That's what I'm talkin about!", even is that was not what he was most recently talking about.

11/20/2007 4:47 PM

soxs:

nice, great sense of humour, however your comment about support your troops, if wasn't for the troops you wouldn't have freedoms today. So, alot of Aholes in Hollywood, like Sean Penn, and others, could have a forum to speak. I thought you would have more respect for the veterans of USA, maybe I'm wrong. Still like your movies. Sal give Cris his fondue set back.lol

11/20/2007 4:54 PM

Lindsey:

I know, right?

11/19/2007 2:40 PM

hannah:

tyra makes the world go round.

11/23/2007 6:16 PM

Sal Goldfarb:

I ain't afraid of you, Chris. You want a piece of me?

Bring it.

11/19/2007 12:59 AM

soxs:

@support our ribbons Maybe you don't understand the comment made. If those who purchase ribbons procedes go to the organizations that support our troops. Please do some home work before you speak, you would have more credibility. From your statements do you support our troops? I do. Maybe clarification is needed because tone was not supportive in tone. Some people can't afford what other can give so there effort in doing so is better than those who don't. Apparently you are doing nothing but writing on this blog and attcking those who are supporting the troops with best efforts. so add 1 to worst... those who statements say nothing and those who do nothing.

11/28/2007 5:48 PM

karendotcom:

You left out al the creeps who feel that it is there god-gived right to change lanes at any time, with no warning.

11/19/2007 1:24 AM

Jesus:

You forgot hipsters Chris. What were you thinking.

11/27/2007 8:53 PM

Todd:

I put Michael Culver in all 10 places for his stupid post above.

Bill O is a hate monger, war monger, piece of shit neocon that should be cooking Southern Fried Steak at Shoney's.

Yep, I hate Michael Culver. All ten spots.

1/16/2008 11:01 PM

Michael Culver:

Let's see . . . DAMN, so many people piss me off, it's hard to have a list of only 10, but here's mine:

1. People who don't understand the concept of merging onto the highway. You would do better to speed up and triy to blend in, not fucking stop or slow down. In fact "blend" and "merge" are synonyms.

2. People who try to drive and talk at the same time. They slow down when on that stupid phone. These are the same people who can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Plus, what's so fucking important to be talking on the fucking phone that much? My state doesn't have a law about this yet, but it's coming. I'm thinking about going to the police academy just to pull these asswipes over.

3. People who "aks" me a question . . .

4. . . . about how to get to a certain "skreet"

5. The number after three is not "fo" its "FOUR" DAMN!

6. There's a guy at my gym who comes in every night, wears an undershirt and way too short shorts. That's not the bad part, though. The bad part is all the dipshit does is stretch. Never seen him lift a weight or run the track. WTF?

7. Harry Connick, Jr. He was being interviewed right after Katrina and the reporter asked him about the looting going on in New Orleans. He said he didn't have a problem with it. The reporter then said, "well what about the ones walking off with plasma screen televisions?" He said something like this "Oh, I don't know, these people are poor, if I was in their situation I might have to get myself a plasma screen"--I lost all respect for him at that point, I mean, what kind of thinking is that? That's just a microcosm of what's wrong with this country.

8. People who know how to speak English but speak their native tongue around you. This is just rude and we speak English in this country. If you don't want to learn or speak the language, you should get the fuck out. If you want to reap the benefits of living in this still great country, then learn the language.

9. People who name their children something absolutely absurd, like Jendarius, Elvis, Shameka, Tameka, Chameka, Jameka, Lameka, Nameka, or Kal-el (Nicholas Cage named his kid after Superman). I'm a teacher and once had a kid named Montgomery, pronounced Mont Go Merry. WTF?

10. Hillary Clinton, Keith Olberman and Mike Greenberg. Can't stand any of those fuckers. Olberman is up against Bill O'Reilly every night and the few times I happen to catch Olberman's show, he's railing on O'Reilly, who's killing him in the ratings, btw. Don't get me wrong, O'Reilly can be bullheaded, but he makes alot of sense and exposes the liberal b.s. that the media dishes out. He's just jealous, get over it.

12/12/2007 12:23 AM

SWiNG:

People who think that Chuck Norris is the end-all be-all, and argue that he would win in a fight against Christopher Walken. Which is a lie.

1/6/2008 11:10 PM

Steve:

Spiders. I hate spiders. Spiders and waking up with mollusks in the bed. Their little mollusk foot making little marks and their little mollusk voices all shrill and always complaining about something.

12/23/2007 1:22 AM