Good God, no.

Starbucks announced today it was closing 600 stores. That's only 6500 Starbucks left. Unfathomable.

I'm not a man who can lay back and watch things happen. I need a boost and I need it now. What if I'm 100 feet away from a Starbucks and I feel my energy drop? Used to be there was a Starbucks in front of me. Now, God only knows. Maybe a pet store.

Where else can I get a three dollar cookie and an eight ounce bottle of lemonade? Besides the airport. I'm a busy man but I can't go into an airport every twelve minutes. 

Or maybe I want to listen to some new tunes. How will I check in with Josh Groban's playlist? Walk two blocks to the remaining Starbucks? That's like Russia.

Picture the future. Where Starbucks is so far away it becomes a myth. Where I'm drinking coffee in some God forsaken diner. In one of those ceramic cups someone else has used. It's so barbarian it doesn't even have that little cardboard hand protector on it. People are angry. Someone says something about another person's grandmother. A fight breaks out. Someone sets the diner on fire. Probably me. It spreads to the neighboring stores, then the community, then the state. The whole country is on fire. People are burning alive. And they're all tired.

I'm frightened, my friends. Very frightened.