Associated Press

I may get fat and old, and the day might come where I have a pathetic intro on my website about a new line of fashion baseball caps I’m hawking, but I will always be your Secretary of State.

I am not rattled in the least bit by Gonzo’s resignation. He simply caved in to the pressure — something I will never do.

In fact, when it comes time for Condi to leave office, the Democrats better bring Janet Reno and an army of trigger-happy ATF agents ‘cause I ain’t ever leaving.

They’ll have to pull my Department of State executive washroom key from my cold, dead, fingers.

Alberto phoned me right before he made the announcement and asked me if I still had his “Walker, Texas Ranger” DVD. I think it was just an excuse to chat — the guy’s been a bit lonely since the Senate hearings commenced.

I told him the same thing I told Colin Powell when I replaced him in 2004, “If you can’t stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen.”

And he did. Just like John Ashcroft and Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove and Paul O’Neill and Ann Veneman and Roderick R. Paige and Spencer Abraham and Donald L. Evans … .