I’ve just about gone over the edge with all the attention “Green-friendly” celebrities are getting. Sheryl Crow and her recyclable toilet paper or whatever. Who cares? Remember when everyone thought Ed Begley Jr. was crazy for driving an electric car?

When I get home at 10:30am from a good night out, I like to rip off my clothes, take a cold shower, let all my black eye makeup drip down my face and then settle in for a nice viewing of “The Price is Right.” It’s my favorite show, hands down. So, for real guys,

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I am so done with all these moms refusing to shoot up their little daughters up with the HPV/genital warts vaccine Gardasil. If there had been a vaccine to protect against STDs when I was a little girl, my father would have bought it off the black market and shot me up with one of the used hypodermic needles we had lying around the house. But these moms today think that if their daughters have the vaccine they’ll go on an unprotected sex spree. Really, bitches?? Because when I was a little girl, there was no vaccine, and I still slept around without protection. Why? Because that’s how I roll. Speaking of, what’s so bad about genital warts? It was my most positive STD experience next to Summer of Sin ‘03 (Chlamydia sores are like a parsley garnish).