By now you have heard my threat to resign if the violence in Tibet continues. Many are wondering, "Is he serious?" Well, I'm serious about one thing: blowing this curried lamb-skewer stand and heading to Daytona Beach for Spring Break!
Resign/reschmign! You can't resign from being the Dalai Lama. The bad Karma would swarm me like killer bees and devour my flesh faster than UV rays on the milky belly of a freshman girl. That reminds me: time to pack! I won't be taking a Speedo. I need a little breathing room. China's got my jewels in a vice grip. And I'm not talking about Buddhism's traditional Three Jewels of Wisdom, if you know what I mean.
Well, I'm scheduled for surfing lessons tomorrow with a guy named "Tubular Taylor," so I gots to get my hustle on. I just wanted to assure you that I am not resigning. I just need a little R & R. That doesn't mean "resign and reincarnate." It means, "Rum and raves." See ya!
Britney Spears:
Woooo!!!! Hey!!!! Orange llama man, forget Tibet!!! Party! You should come hang out with me on the WEST COAST. I learned a new trick. I can keep my eye from blinking while my friends touch my eyeball. Its gross. Also, wanna see my cooch?
3/18/2008 5:58 PMblackwatch:
grow up you dickh..ds
3/18/2008 7:19 PMDalai Lama:
Dearest Britney,
My English is not so good. I do not know this word "cooch." We have a word in Tibetan, "cyooc," which means, "infinite nature." Is this what you mean? If so, I would love to see your cooch. I'm sure it is spacious and warm.
Mr. Blackwatch,
In Buddhism, we speak of Mara, the evil one, which is really a metaphor for shadow elements in our brain. Sometimes we project these shadows onto others. I am just delicately trying to say, perhaps it is you who are the dickh-dot-dot-d?
P.S. Does anyone know how to make a beer bong out of yak hide? SPRING BREAK!!!
3/18/2008 10:17 PMAlex:
hahaha - that lama response should be a separate post
3/19/2008 12:01 AMblackwatch:
are you trying to tell me that the seat of the mind is the brain. and as for the shadow side it appears yours has taken control
3/19/2008 4:22 AMDalai Lama:
No, sir, after seventy years of meditation, I have eliminated my shadow side, just like I will eliminate you with a single blast from my yak gun. Namaste!
3/19/2008 9:49 AM