Well, well, well, China. Look who’s crawling back to Daddy Dalai.

Just a few days ago you were calling me a viper and accusing me of master-minding the riots. Now you want us to work together? Allow me to momentarily suspend my vow of compassion and say the following: suck it!

I mean, this is the biggest flip-flop since Madonna converted to Kabbalah. You’re so flaky that maybe we should hold our negotiations at the Pink Lotus Martini Bar in North Hollywood. Furthermore, you say you will only cooperate if I abandon the cause of Tibetan independence. Yeah right….I suppose Richard Gere will finally shave his girly locks and take a vow of abstinence!

Sure, China, I'll stop the riots. Just give me a minute to don my magic yak cloak and shoot love beams from my third eye. Or maybe I'll strap on riot gear and bludgeon a twelve-year-old boy. Is that how you do it?

Hey China, here’s two silver yuan, call someone who cares.