Photo by spcoon via flickr

I received my new iPhone at 9 p.m., June 29, after three and a half days of meditation in line behind a blessed 17-year-old boy who made his fortune selling pictures of women’s feet over the internet. I could not possibly be happier with my purchase (unlike some others).

I suppose your fulfillment will depend on your reason for wanting one. I bought mine to bring communication at the temple into the 21st century. As it was, one of the monks in a neighboring temple would signal me with a 75-foot pyre of flame, and I would shed my mortal body and project my spirit to him across the astral plane. In the end, we decided that a two-year service agreement with AT&T required slightly less suffering.

Does anyone know how I may obtain another Manaphy?

Soprano’s creator David Chase is the spiritual embodiment of Mara himself.

I can’t believe people look upon the future with such fear in their hearts. Tom Wayne of Kansas City, Missouri, has taken it upon himself to burn a collection of 20,000 used books in protest of the slow death of the written word in America. You would think that most people would simply learn to use an E-book reader. Even the Tao is available from Audible.com now. I have it on my Blackberry.