Have you heard the rumor that Subcomandante Marcos will be appearing on Celebrity Big Brother-Malibu, along with Friends star David Schwimmer, pioneering TV therapist Dr. Joyce Brothers, actress/entrepreneur/memoirist Suzanne Sommers, deposed Haitian dictator Baby Doc Duvallier, tween idol Miley Cyrus, and diver/gay role model Greg Louganis? I have.

It’s funny, the Subcommandante didn’t mention it the other night at dinner with Joan Rivers and King Friday. He did say his new video game, Zapatista 2046: Delegate Zero vs. the Blood Scourge of the Galactic Overcore, is selling well and his Caribbean theme resort, Chiapalypso!, should be ready to open by spring break. He mentioned guest spots on Total
Request Live and Smallville, but nothing about Big Brother. Odd.

Associated Press

Garfield was hilarious this morning. My cat Bundy and I laaaaughed. I love when Garfield has nap attacks. Look out! Nap attack in the lasagna!

Idea for meditation class: butt plugs.

I need to mow the lawn, but I’m a bit skittish after last time. It’s hard to mow a neat line when the blades of grass are screaming in those little tiny voices.

I met Salman Rushdie at some point. I remember I asked him whether he still wanted to make a movie of Midnight’s Children. He said he had decided it was unfilmable. I said I thought it would be a piece of cake, as long as we set it in Iowa.