Nobody likes rejection but sometimes you have to face the facts, and the fact is that if you've fallen behind on your home payments, you are a complete failure as a human being. It's that simple. You don't deserve a home.
But you have to live somewhere. So I'm willing to give you another chance at my newly launched TRUMP CITY: Luxury tent living for the discriminating deadbeat.
Residents of TRUMP CITY enjoy will all the benefits of upscale living, without the actual amenities. I'm a direct guy. I'm not pulling any punches here. I created TRUMP CITY for two simple reasons:
1. It feels good to do good. I know a lot of Americans are hurting right now -- even though it is their own fault.
2. I need to harvest your organs so that I can live forever. TRUMP CITY residents agree to share with Donald J. Trump, essential anatomical structures and fluids to ensure my immortality on an as-needed basis as determined by appropriate medical and legal experts.
This really is a no-brainer. You're a loser who needs a place to live, and I need your vital life force. Let me help you to help me.
Ben Bernanke:
Will you provide a special lot for Bear Stearns employees?
4/1/2008 6:17 PMAshley Alexandra Dupre:
Don't forget about the out of work EC VIP "girls"!
4/2/2008 11:10 AMJack White:
Mr Trump, I was in Atlantic City this weekend playing a show at the Borgata. After the show I got quite drunk and stumbled over to your shithole, the Trump Marina. I've never seen such a poor excuse for a casino in my life. First, the waitresses appeared to be wearing the exact thing Princess Leia wore in A New Hope, except gold instead of white. I couldn't even find their asses to smack them. Secondly I asked for a smoking room, I was told none were available. I'm Jack White! Come on! I just smoked in the bathroom, because I'm edgy and rock and roll. Speaking of edgy rock and roll, when I decided to toss my tv out the hotel room window I discovered that the window was locked with a padlock! Unbelievable. I broke the window with a chair then tossed the tv, fuck you Donald. Of, by the way, you probably want to talk to the waitress named Wanda, she might have a nasty case of the herpes. Oops.
4/3/2008 1:28 PMDonald Trump:
Mr White, I was at your Borgata show. You are a very entertaining act. When you learn to play a fourth chord, give me a call and we will be happy to book you and your sister at another Trump venue.
Wanda is very impressive behind the skins, you know. She actually has rhythm. Think about it.
4/4/2008 1:54 PMJay North:
Does anyone if you think about it really believe that Donald Trump is really "the man?" Check out his logic and demeanor. He is entertaining in a comedic way but obviously a front man for others who stay in the background and make the decisions.
4/8/2008 6:21 PMyou aint no G:
how old is your wife?
4/8/2008 7:10 PMAl Sharpton:
Please make sure Michael Vick has a nice tent next to the dog house. They can bite him while he sleeps at night.
4/8/2008 9:06 PMDr. Phil:
Donald when you go bankrupt again as you did in the late 80's I will have to comfort your wife in one of my tents. You can send current and past wive's to the tent. I will service all of then because I am the man.
4/8/2008 9:09 PMBill Clinton:
Can I bring the interns her from my wife's office if she is president. I cannot bang them in the oval office anymore because Hillary will be in there checking the carpet for stains. Maybe I can get a tent in the back and Donald and I can tag team the interns from my wive's office. That will be the bomb
4/8/2008 9:29 PMFrank Boday:
I need a BIG tent so I can spank the girls. I will open a cat house to make money for my retirement, social security will not work
4/8/2008 9:49 PMDonald Trump:
Willie C... you can keep YOUR organ in your pants. I want the other organs to harvest, as per our deal. And by the way, I designated the cammo tent for you to hide stains, so leave the blue one for Monica.
4/8/2008 9:54 PMBjork:
Donald *screeee*, dear, dear Donald. I love the tents. I would like to purchase *growwl* one and wear it to the Oscars next year. If you agree, I will take your lovely daughter as my *ooooohugh* date. Perhaps I will ravish her. Perhaps not. I am Icelandic, and thus, inscrutable.
4/8/2008 10:42 PMSamuel L. Jackson:
I stayed at one of your tents Mr. Trump. I can't believe the location was in New Orleans. The women bared it all for nothing, because Samuel L. Jackson does not need beads. You do have a problem with snakes at your luxury community though. I am gonna get these mother f-ing snakes out of my mother f-ing tent.
4/8/2008 11:25 PMParis Hilton:
Tents are HOT
4/9/2008 4:32 AMI want to mess up Don Jr's hair inside of one.
Al Gore:
I invented "Tent City."
4/9/2008 6:06 AMBill Gates:
Donald,
How are the other 200 tent city's you are building going? I will need them to house all the H1-b's I have and the new college "extended" student visa's I just bought from congress. But please make sure you separate them from the normal American tents that we will need for all our displaced workers that wont agree to work at half the pay.
By the way... I just donated another 10 billion to charity. Its a cool charity called the "Gates Foundation". I get to invest (um no donate) to people who have good ideas I can steal.
4/9/2008 7:06 AMGeorge W. Bush:
Please accept my reservation for early 2009....
10/8/2008 2:01 PMGREG STREFF:
INVESTING RIGHT NOW WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT IDEA PROVIDED I JUST HAD SOME MONEY TO INVEST. WHEN WILL CONGRESS BAIL ME OUT? CONGRESS COULD EVEN GET PAID BACK IF THEY GIVE ME A $BILLION, BUT THEY WILL NEVER LET THE LITTLE GUY INTO THEIR CLUB BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW THEM TO SHUFFLE LARGE AMOUNTS OF THE MONEY INTO THEIR OWN POCKETS.
LETS FACE IT. I'M NOT CRICKED ENOUGH TO BE REAL SUCCESSFULL.
CRICKED FOUNDATIONS:
BILL GATES FOUNDATION CHARITY
3/12/2009 9:10 AMCLINTON FOUNDATION CHARITY
ALL GORE FOUNDATION, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ALL GORE'S HOUSE AT NIGHT ALL LIT UP? IT TAKES A HUGE COAL PLAT JUST TO KEEP AL GORE'S LIGHTS LIT.
GREG STREFF:
INVESTING RIGHT NOW WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT IDEA PROVIDED I JUST HAD SOME MONEY TO INVEST. WHEN WILL CONGRESS BAIL ME OUT? CONGRESS COULD EVEN GET PAID BACK IF THEY GIVE ME A $BILLION, BUT THEY WILL NEVER LET THE LITTLE GUY INTO THEIR CLUB BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW THEM TO SHUFFLE LARGE AMOUNTS OF THE MONEY INTO THEIR OWN POCKETS.
LETS FACE IT. I'M NOT CRICKED ENOUGH TO BE REAL SUCCESSFULL.
CRICKED FOUNDATIONS:
BILL GATES FOUNDATION CHARITY
3/12/2009 9:11 AMCLINTON FOUNDATION CHARITY
ALL GORE FOUNDATION, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ALL GORE'S HOUSE AT NIGHT ALL LIT UP? IT TAKES A HUGE COAL PLAT JUST TO KEEP AL GORE'S LIGHTS LIT.
GREG STREFF:
INVESTING RIGHT NOW WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT IDEA PROVIDED I JUST HAD SOME MONEY TO INVEST. WHEN WILL CONGRESS BAIL ME OUT? CONGRESS COULD EVEN GET PAID BACK IF THEY GIVE ME A $BILLION, BUT THEY WILL NEVER LET THE LITTLE GUY INTO THEIR CLUB BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW THEM TO SHUFFLE LARGE AMOUNTS OF THE MONEY INTO THEIR OWN POCKETS.
LETS FACE IT. I'M NOT CRICKED ENOUGH TO BE REAL SUCCESSFULL.
CRICKED FOUNDATIONS:
BILL GATES FOUNDATION CHARITY
3/12/2009 9:11 AMCLINTON FOUNDATION CHARITY
ALL GORE FOUNDATION, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ALL GORE'S HOUSE AT NIGHT ALL LIT UP? IT TAKES A HUGE COAL PLAT JUST TO KEEP AL GORE'S LIGHTS LIT.
GREG STREFF:
INVESTING RIGHT NOW WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT IDEA PROVIDED I JUST HAD SOME MONEY TO INVEST. WHEN WILL CONGRESS BAIL ME OUT? CONGRESS COULD EVEN GET PAID BACK IF THEY GIVE ME A $BILLION, BUT THEY WILL NEVER LET THE LITTLE GUY INTO THEIR CLUB BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW THEM TO SHUFFLE LARGE AMOUNTS OF THE MONEY INTO THEIR OWN POCKETS.
LETS FACE IT. I'M NOT CRICKED ENOUGH TO BE REAL SUCCESSFULL.
CRICKED FOUNDATIONS:
BILL GATES FOUNDATION CHARITY
3/12/2009 9:11 AMCLINTON FOUNDATION CHARITY
ALL GORE FOUNDATION, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ALL GORE'S HOUSE AT NIGHT ALL LIT UP? IT TAKES A HUGE COAL PLAT JUST TO KEEP AL GORE'S LIGHTS LIT.
GREG STREFF:
INVESTING RIGHT NOW WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT IDEA PROVIDED I JUST HAD SOME MONEY TO INVEST. WHEN WILL CONGRESS BAIL ME OUT? CONGRESS COULD EVEN GET PAID BACK IF THEY GIVE ME A $BILLION, BUT THEY WILL NEVER LET THE LITTLE GUY INTO THEIR CLUB BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW THEM TO SHUFFLE LARGE AMOUNTS OF THE MONEY INTO THEIR OWN POCKETS.
LETS FACE IT. I'M NOT CRICKED ENOUGH TO BE REAL SUCCESSFULL.
CRICKED FOUNDATIONS:
BILL GATES FOUNDATION CHARITY
3/12/2009 9:11 AMCLINTON FOUNDATION CHARITY
ALL GORE FOUNDATION, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ALL GORE'S HOUSE AT NIGHT ALL LIT UP? IT TAKES A HUGE COAL PLAT JUST TO KEEP AL GORE'S LIGHTS LIT.
Bill Maher:
New Rule: Anyone who posts their comment more than once on these blogs gets skewered and then cannibalized by Annie "the Trannie" Coulter. First up, Mr. Greg Streff. And don't think that freak of the night can't find you where you live Mr. Streff; she has some very "cricked" [you dumbfuck] cohorts in some very dark places.
3/12/2009 10:05 AMArnold Schwarzenegger:
I, da Governatah, approve of dis new rule. In one of my blog posting, some pathetic whining losah wanted permission to use da picture for some stupid newslettah or sometink. He posted da same ting 23 times! If I ever find dat little girlyman, I will twist his limbs into a pretzel and throw him into da monkey cage at da zoo so da monkeys can pee on him.
But your plan has merit too. Have your people call my people.
3/12/2009 11:01 PMAnn Coulter:
I love it. My hunger for human souls can never be sated.
3/12/2009 4:37 PM