I was sitting in my hot tub, flipping through the latest issue of The Source, The Bible of Hip-Hop Music, Culture and Politics, when my personal assistant Fai'sha said there was a Supreme Court Justice on the line for me.

"Which one?" I asked. I ain't gonna interrupt some serious chillin' for a junior justice like Samuel Alito.

"It's the Chief," Fai'sha said, brushing her apostrophe off her forehead.

"Okay, I'll take it," I said. With the possibility of a Democratic administration for the first time in 8 years, I got to keep the lines of communication open. I built up a lot of judgin' experience on "Flavor of Love", and I could end up bein' a dark horse nominee for an open seat on "Da Court".

FF: "Hello?" I said in a blase tone. I didn't want to seem too eager.

JR: "Flav, it's John Roberts."

FF: "Heeey J-Boy--what you been doin' with yo' bad self?"

JR: "Oh, a little of this and a little of that."

FF: "Stayin' out of trouble, my man?"

JR: "Flav, every case we decide, somebody gets upset."

FF: "I know what you mean. Every time I dropped some girl from Flavor of Love, she'd get all pissy with me."

JR: "Ain't that just like a woman? Listen, Flav, I wanted to ask you something."

FF: "Go ahead and axe."

JR: "It's getting close to the end of our term, and I'd like to reward the justices with something special."

FF: "A neck clock like mine?"

JR: "No, I was thinking more of a personal rap nickname."

FF: "That's cool."

JR: "Well, actually, no. I understand in order to get one you have to go through a gang initiation, get a tattoo, maybe pull off a brutal carjacking."

FF: "If you want to have any street cred, yes."

JR: "Well, that's going to be somewhat difficult."

FF: "What you mean?"

JR: "We are officers of the highest federal court of the United States. It would be . . ."

FF: "Unseemly?"

JR: "Precisely."

FF: "J-Boy, I got the answer for you. Go to http://rapstarname.com!

JR: "What's that?"

FF: "It's the premier on-line Rap Star Name Generator."

JR: "Really?"

FF: "Yep. Just type in 'Ruth Bader Ginsburg' and out comes"--here I paused while I went on-line and tapped on my laptop--"Queen G-Lady".

JR: "Super," the Chief Justice said. "I know she's going to love that monicker!"

FF: "Flav knows how to please the la-dies!"