Associated Press

My grandpappy used to tell me, “You can shuck corn but you can’t huck a bee.”

Now I find out there’s not only a Huckabee running for my nomination, he’s trying to steal my thunder.

• We’re both Southerners
• We both speak with a gentleman’s twang.
• We’re both conservatives.
• He was a minister. I played one on Viking Quest, counseling Johnny Chase.

But that’s where the similarities end. He has no red hot wife. He’s got no “Friends of Mike” website. In fact he’s such a loser he can’t even get a blog on News Groper. (In fact, the only blog I found for him was here.)

We Republicans already have a crazy guy (McCain), a martyr (Giuliani), a hopeless fool (Paul) and a demagogue (Romney). I’m the Southern Fried God-fearing conservative.

So go huck a bee, Mike. We don’t need you.