When I was a boy, my dog Taft got rabies trying to save me from a raccoon. Unfortunately Little Freddie had to put him down.

I hit him in the head with a stick, a rock, even tried my rusty jack knife until Pappy brought me his gun and I blew old Taft’s head off.

Then I had a new best friend, my shotgun.

Now New York City is making it harder to get guns. After I made a big stink about the gun restrictions, Giuliani 911’s co-chairman Guy Molinari said this:

If you want to bash people, jump into the pool. We’re waiting for you.

Shoot, I ain’t jumpin’ in no pool with Giuliani 911, every time that boy sneezes you get sprayed with asbestos and his trunks slip off easier than a Clintons.

Photo by amishah via Flickr.

Trying to ban guns in NYC is like bannin’ cattle prods in Lawrenceburg, someday the bull will get you in the buttocks.