Associated Press

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the problems we’re having up North, with the Kurdistan-based insurgency against Turkey. Obviously we don’t have too many troops to spare these days, what with our surge in Baghdad. But—and, bear with me here, I know it’s a bit of a stretch—what if Turkey conducted their own troop surge, on the border of Kurdistan?

The results of my own “surge” have been incontestably positive—violence is way down in Baghdad, and we’re only using a small fraction of our troops there. Turkey isn’t fighting a brutal, demanding two-front war, so they have almost all of their military to use. Hypothetically, they could use their entire military force to “surge” along the border with Kurdistan. Assuming their surge is accompanied by rigorous application of the techniques set forth in my groundbreaking counterinsurgency manual, Turkey’s difficulties with the Kurdish separatist movement could be over in a matter of months. And they wouldn’t even have to cross into Iraq! Trust me, our boys are doing pretty much the same thing in Afghanistan up on the border of Pakistan. And we’re winning there!

Now, nobody can say I didn’t propose a feasible solution to the issue.