News Groper's celebrity bloggers are on indefinite strike. While we negotiate (indefinitely), check out Easy LOL to follow comedians on Twitter.

George W. Bush’s Blog

McCain and Rove's black love child

By George W. Bush

Bio & Blog

Associated Press

The Nation, a magazine I read after I eat lots of chili and happen to be at someone’s house with a big magazine rack near the crapper, recently published a vicious smear piece about my best friend Karl Rove. The title is “Karl Rove’s Black Love Child,” which is just silly. To have a love child, as I understand it, a person has to have sex, and Karl doesn’t, unless you count hand sex with himself.

I was so confused that I reread the article, and it seems to be about me and John McCain, and how I supposedly did something not-very-nice to him in the 2000 South Carolina primary and then became President. Supposedly, Karl made some people call some voters and ask them if they would vote for McCain if they knew that he had illegitimately fathered a black child, which would have maybe confused them, since he and his wife had just adopted a girl from Bangladesh. (She is a teenager now, and probably hot — I know I’m not supposed to say that, which is why I put it in parentheses, which makes it invisible.)

I have several responses to this outrageous piece of hit journalism. First of all, losers weepers. Second of all, McLame (as I like to call him) has a chance to become president this year. So what’s the big deal, crybaby? Maybe you should take your (hot) (black) daughter should go to a (black-themed) amusement park and lighten up (black-girl-adopter!).

1/14/2008 8:50 PM, New York

George W. Bush Email Alerts

feed This Blogger's RSS Feed

News Groper Weekly Email

Get the very best & funniest of News Groper in our weekly email newsletter.




1/15/2008 12:16 AM

Rove, Karl Rove:

Forget sleaze bag trash mags. I'm gonna be in the movies!!

Coming to your local political theater SOON!


French Subtitle: Singing Folsom Prison Blues In A Red State Prison

No one can resist a great summertime movie to help take our minds off war, high gas prices and air-conditioning we can no longer afford. An even better way to beat the summertime blues is a hot, juicy, major political scandal, especially when it features our favorite criminal master mind, your's truly, Karl Rove, as the lead player. Cyber Intrigue, Treason, Voter Fraud, Blackmail and Secret Whistle Blowers! What more can we ask for?

Who will be subpoenaed? Who will answer a subpoena? Who's going to da pokey?!

With a cast that rivals that of "Moses'"
Staring in Alphabetical Order!

Cliff "Atticus" Arnebeck fighting for Justice and the American Way.

Heather Connell as leading lady, torn between her family's safety and the integrity of her vote.

Michael Connell, the mastermind voter fraud genius and self described behind the scenes power house or just a simple computer misunderstood geek?

Dennis "The Menace" Kucinich as himself.

John McCain, as the laughable but lovable old soap box politician who remains confused and perplexed by it all.

The Honorable Michael B. "Wild Card" Mukasey whose role in the final scenes will astound you.

And last but not least!

Starring none other than myself, King, eer..Karl Rove, King Maker with ties to Power that only Power knows!

ACT V, Scene II

Dear Attorney General Mukasey:

We have been confidentially informed by a source we believe to be credible that Karl Rove has threatened Michael Connell, a principal witness we have identified in our King Lincoln case in federal court in Columbus, Ohio, that if he does not agree to "take the fall" for election fraud in Ohio, his wife Heather will be prosecuted for supposed lobby law violations. This appears to be in response to our designation of Rove as the principal perpetrator in the Ohio Corrupt Practices Act/RICO claim with respect to which we issued document hold notices last Thursday to you and to the US Chamber of Commerce Institute for Legal Reform. I have informed court chambers and am in the process of informing the Ohio Attorney General's and US Attorney's offices in Columbus for the purpose, among other things, of seeking protection for Mr. Connell and his family from this reported attempt to intimidate a witness.

Concurrently herewith, I am informing Mr. Conyers and Mr. Kucinich in connection with their Congressional oversight responsibilities related to these matters. Because of the serious engagement in this matter that began in 2000 of the Ohio Statehouse Press Corps, 60 Minutes, the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, C-Span and Jim VandeHei, and the public's right to know of gross attempts to subvert the rule of law, I am forwarding this information to them, as well.

Cliff Arnebeck, Attorney


The Honorable Michael B. Mukasey
Attorney General of the United States
U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20530

RE: Document Hold Notice for Emails of Karl Rove

Dear Mr. Attorney General:

We represent public interest clients on behalf of which we intend to assert an Ohio Corrupt Practices Act/RICO claim against Mr. Karl Rove and others based upon their activities beginning in 2000 to use corporate treasury money and other resources in violation of applicable laws to establish single faction, dominance in the United States, military dominance in the world and generally undermine the rule of law as it had developed over the course of the past century.

Mr. Rove's e-mails from the White House to the Justice Department, the FBI, the Pentagon, Congress and various federal regulatory agencies are obviously relevant to the factual issues that we intend to address in this case. We are concerned about reports that Mr. Rove not only destroyed e-mails, but also took steps to destroy the hard drives from which they had been sent.

This is to request that you advise both the Secret Service, which we understand should have a complete record of e-mails sent to and from the White House, and federal agencies with which Mr. Rove was communicating to protect such electronic records from destruction pending our opportunity to discover them in the course of the prospective litigation.

Sincerely yours,

Clifford O. Arnebeck, Jr.

Clifford O. Arnebeck, Jr.
Attorney at Law

cc: John Conyers, Jr., Chairman, U.S. House Cmte on the Judiciary
Robert Fitrakis, Esq.
Henry Eckhart, Esq.

See: for performance schedules in your local area

8/7/2008 2:23 AM