So the New York Times decided to break a story this week: it turns out that this summer, American kids are fat! Who fucking knew? And it looks like cheese-fries are the bloody culprits. You mean that when kids eat deep-fried, starchy vegetables covered in Velveeta, it's not good for them? And all this time I thought raw fruits and vegetables were to blame.
My God, parents, is it that fucking hard to make your kids a fucking salad? Is it impossible to make them a sandwich without using Wonder Bread? It's a freakishly white, nutrient-depraved sponge-like substance that even pigeons know to stay the fuck away from. Why do you all insist on feeding your children chemical-waste? It's pretty fucking simple. If you serve your kids mutant food, they are going to look like mutants.