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Gordon Ramsay’s Blog

Television sucks (except when I'm on it)

By Gordon Ramsay

Bio & Blog

It seems like the only shows I can watch on TV anymore are the ones I’m on. And Dancing with the Stars. But that’s pretty much it.

I tried to watch that Top Chef show awhile back. Top Chef of what? I wouldn’t let these contestants cook for my Boston Terrier. The best thing I can say about the show is this: If you’re an aspiring bulimic, and you’re having trouble vomiting up the roast pork you just ate, tune into this rubbish. And have a bucket handy. Maybe a couple of buckets.

Who the hell is Padma Lakshmi to judge food? A better question might be who the hell is Padma Lakshmi?

She shouldn’t be judging food; she obviously has no taste. She married Salman Rushdie for crying out loud. I mean, yeah they’re getting a divorce, but the damage is done.

I’d still snog her, though. And her scar.

padma.jpg
Photo by NYCArthur via Flickr.

Now I don’t have much beef with Tom Colicchio. He’s an all right guy, doesn’t bother many people. He just sort of runs around opening up different outposts of his craft empire. craftsteak, ‘witchcraft, aircraft, anti-aircraft, watercraft, arts&craft. You get the picture. The only thing he seems to care about is making sure his sign is in all lowercase letters. But his show is just awful.

Over on Public Television is this poindexter Chris Kimball and America’s Test Kitchen. They make like 72 recipes for meatloaf to determine the best way to make it. I say make it nice don’t make it twice. If you know what the hell you’re doing in a kitchen, then you shouldn’t need to make 72 meatloafs. You make one. And you fucking eat it.

But this Kimball thinks he’s the Stephen Hawking of the food world. Probably read a couple of science books, throws on his bow tie and then somehow goes on tv, and - I can’t figure this part out - assumes a cocky demeanor. The product tests are painful too. They go through about 902 can openers and explain which one is best and why. By the time they’re done, I could have bitten the can open. I often do when I can’t find an opener.

11/1/2007 5:37 PM, New York
5 comments

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Comments

Michael Jackson:

Want real family “Kitchen Nightmares”, not just before but after too, no faking at all?

Just watch Gordon Ramsay’s much bullied younger brother, Ronald Ramsay, trying to cook some stale food in a rat infested Indonesian prison cell.

Proof positive that Gordon, really can make a lasting difference to peoples lives, in the real world, off camera.

Beats working for charity!

11/21/2007 1:31 AM

Alexis:

I love watching Chef Ramsay's, he's great. I love how he doesnt
care what people think of him.
My question is. Does Chef ramsay's ever go back to the
restaurants that he changes? I would like to see that, and see
if the resaurants stay with the change or go back to their ways?

11/8/2007 4:23 AM

Brenda:

Is this really Gordon Ramsay? How is it that you write as well as you cook?

I'd like to see Chris Kimball on Hell's Kitchen.

11/13/2007 12:44 AM

Gordon R:

Thanks Brenda. Glad you enjoy my writing and cooking. Sometimes I write my blog while I am cooking. At the same time.

I would love LOVE to see Kimball on my show. He'd never show up though. No guts.

11/13/2007 2:45 AM

Gordon Ramsay:

Alexis,
Thank you for the kinds words. It's true: I don't give a flying foie gras what anyone thinks of me.

You are referring to my hit television show "Kitchen Nightmares" (Wednesdays at 9 p.m. EST on Fox).
I must tell you that the only reason I go into those restaurants in the first place is because I am paid money. A lot of money.

So in answer to your question, I would love to go back to the restaurants a second time to check up on how they are doing. But only if the network (or restaurant) paid me money. Lots and lots of money.

-GR

11/8/2007 3:44 PM