Hey peoples! Heidi here. Blogging! I know, it's totally awesome, right? The other day, I was texting and then then Spence was like, "Babe, you’re such a good writer, maybe you should start blogging.” And I was like, "Shut up, I need space, no waitIloveyoucomeback."

Everyone listens to bloggers, so I figure it's my chance to say some important stuff and have it make a difference. So I've decided to weigh in on the situation in Darfour, which I don’t totally get, by the way, because why didn’t anyone make a big deal about the first three Dars? It's really sad you non-celebrities have to wait for George Clooney to say something is bad before you agree to take a stand.

So as far as I understand it, there are the good guys -- the Christian Africans against the bad Muslim Africans. Then there is the centralized government who is in bed with the Chinese over oil deals and who won't grant the Western Darfour region access to resources, but instead hired the Gangaweed to kill them!

So complicated right!? How'd they let their shit get so messed up in the first place? It's kind of like when Lauren decided to bone half of Orange County instead of just staying with Jas. Of course there was going to be more drama.

Anyway, I don't want to write about Darfour any more because it’s like, sooo specific, you know? And who even knows if anyone over there even has the internet. So, let’s talk about something way more universal. Let’s talk about Ellen DeGeneres.

I went on Ellen’s show the other day. To be honest, I don’t really like doing talk shows, because the hosts are always staring  RIGHT into your face. Or if not your face, they’re staring at my boobs. Yes, they’re real, OK? Real silicone. Spence likes to call my cleavage “Silicone Valley.” I love how he’s so plugged in to technology.

But anyway, Ellen’s show was actually so much fun! You know when you’re having a conversation with someone and they just like completely GET you? Plus, she’s like sooo funny! Like, I swear, the stuff she comes up with, it’s so funny. You’d think she was a guy or something.

Gotta do some texting about this! Laters!