I control the money supply, I control the banks, I control the horizontal, I control the vertical. I'm kidding about the last two--that's what the aliens used to say at the beginning of "The Outer Limits", my favorite '60's TV show. But I do control time.

That's right. If I have to, I can use my extraordinary new powers to actually change time, the final matrix. And I do have to--know why?

Because the National Debt Clock in New York City ran out of digits! Didn't they realize when they bought that thing back in 1989 that we'd eventually owe more than $10 trillion?  Like I always say, when buying counter-top appliances, it's worth it to get the extended warranty.

My fellow Americans,

Many of you (especially those of you in Congress) are confused by the complex economic events leading up to our current situation and how my bailout proposal will address. I'd like to clear that up now.

I guess the first thing that the economy needs to understand is that success is a mental transformation. It’s not an external event. To be successful, you must first know exactly what you want to achieve. Second, you need to commit to the sacrifices that it will take to achieve your goal. And third, you must believe beyond any reasonable doubt that you will achieve your goals.

Always push your limits. Always push your comfort zone. And as you train to expand and step outside your comfort zone you come to realise that the things that most people regard as impossible are actually completely within your grasp.