I control the money supply, I control the banks, I control the horizontal, I control the vertical. I'm kidding about the last two--that's what the aliens used to say at the beginning of "The Outer Limits", my favorite '60's TV show. But I do control time.

That's right. If I have to, I can use my extraordinary new powers to actually change time, the final matrix. And I do have to--know why?

Because the National Debt Clock in New York City ran out of digits! Didn't they realize when they bought that thing back in 1989 that we'd eventually owe more than $10 trillion?  Like I always say, when buying counter-top appliances, it's worth it to get the extended warranty.

So here's what I'm going to do. At 2 a.m. Sunday morning when I get home from my poker game, I'm going to reset the National Debt Clock back to $999 billion, which will give us a little breathing room. That's the rule, right? Spring forward, fall back?

I'm going to need it, because next week I'm going shopping. You never know when you're going to find a bargain on a bank, or an insurance company, or a brokerage firm.