Does anyone see what's happening here? Obama is star-obsessed. It's like he's trying to create the Dream Team cabinet. He's Jordan. Biden is his Barkley -- a free-speaking, gambling buddy.

I'm Pippen. Supposedly we're loyal teammates, but in actually we both harbor a strong disdain for each other that we must put aside for the greater good: mercy-ruling Angola.

And think about the others he's considering for posts. Bill Richardson: Big-bodied, often bearded, from the West. Can you say Karl Malone?

Then there's John Kerry. Once heavily-touted, but now he sucks balls. Whiter than Christmas. Um...Christian Laettner!!

But more important, if I get this post I can continue my blog that you all grew to love so much during primary season. My whiny, conspiratorial online diary that has probably been a giant void in your life as well as mine for the last six months. I already have my first three posts planned.

1. Not finding out about Jeremiah Wright earlier in the primary was a NASA-orchaestrated conspiracy.
2. I'm the best Secretary of State since Henry Clay.
3. Two heartbeats away from the presidency ain't bad.