Howie Mandel’s Blog

Adoption? Why not just have a baby?!

By Howie Mandel

Bio & Blog

My brother-in-law called me last week and told me him and his wife were adopting. As a person raised and loved by birth-parents, I had to take a step back and look at adoption with an objective eye; however I really don’t get the appeal.

ADOPT-EES - if you have made the life choice to be adopted as a new born, you are getting involved in a lottery that doesn’t always pay out. Chances are your “mom” and “dad” spent all the money they had just to get you – and that includes the college fund. Right away you’re staring at a deficit. There’s a good chance you won’t even get that new car you want on your 16th birthday. Also, be prepared on those birthdays to hear how hard it was to get you. You may be hear “you better appreciate it” and “2nd morgages don’t grow on trees”.

ADOPT-ERS - there is an obvious up-side that I don’t want to over look; being able to reach bi-racial status. It would be nice to finally silence your nay-sayers and prove once and for all that you ARE tolerant of other races….look what you just bought! I also hear that after awhile they really start to look like their owners. However, I’m not convinced that having an alternative race choice is enough to warrant all the trouble of adoption.

It also baffles me that people are willing to shell out thousands of dollars for just one baby. Especially with living in an age of competitive cost websites like eBay, I would think you could find a pretty solid deal. So here’s my question to you: Why adopt? Why not just HAVE a baby?

5/2/2008 10:23 AM, Los Angeles
20 comments

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Comments

Britney Spears:

Wish I'd heard of this "addiption" thing before I got jiggly from havin' my own! DANG!

5/2/2008 3:17 PM

Angela:

HAH! Why so much negativity, adoption-lovin' readers? Can't you have a sense of humor about Howie Mandel's ignorance?! This doesn't make fun of adoption - it makes fun of OUT OF TOUCH CELEBS. Duh.

Man, don't they give IQ tests before handing over babies? (THAT'S A JOKE.)

5/2/2008 4:21 PM

John Edwards:

"That's a joke"?

I'll be the judge of that. Don't kid yourself.

5/11/2008 11:02 PM

sunflower:

I don't see what is wrong with adoption because I was one when I was born and I don't
know who is my parents sometime I want to know but half the time I don't want to know

5/2/2008 5:57 PM

Barbara Walters:

Sunflower dear. Not knowing who your parents are is the least of your troubles. Good girls have periods, dear.

5/11/2008 11:04 PM

Adoptive Parent:

Quite possibly the most ignorant post I have ever read on any topic!

5/2/2008 6:58 PM

Thom Yorke:

You obviously don't spend much time on the internet.

5/11/2008 11:08 PM

Adoptee:

Quite probably, the most brilliant post I have ever read on adoption!

5/2/2008 11:26 PM

Miss. Kapusta:

I love this blog! I am adopted and it is horrible. It is horrible to be adopted and the adoption industry is evil. Yes this blog is supposed to be funny, but you know what? It's all true! I did grow up constantly being told to 'appreciate everything b/c I was paid for'

5/4/2008 7:49 PM

Anonymous:

Hi There I am adopted to and sometime I want to know you Mother & Father is and sometime i don't want to know becauase they gave me up when I born. You know what I mean

5/4/2008 8:46 PM

MJM:

How is that different from living with birth parents? God, if I hear my mom tell me about the 12 hour labor and Dad tell me about how he sold his soul to get me into a good college one more time, I'm gonna graduate.

5/11/2008 11:11 PM

Dr. Phil:

Let me tell ya' all somethin, with out this kinda stuff going on in the world I would not have a job! Anyone who is wantin to sell a baby, or buy one, or any of ya' all adopted kids who are messed up by the whole experience, ya' all call me!
Look here, I got a solid thirty minutes to show the world how screwed up ya' all are, tell you how superior I am, and then I can walk off with Robin to go play some golf. You are one sorry, sorry bunch, but I say 'bring it on!'

5/4/2008 11:37 PM

Lauren:

You are either insane or a genius. Whatever it is, I LOVE YOU HOWIE MANDEL BLOG!

5/5/2008 12:51 AM

Angelina Jolie:

When you adopt you 'save the world' (or didn't you know that?)

5/5/2008 9:11 PM

Mia Farrow:

Howie: As the former Mrs. Not Quite Woody Allen, I must disagree with your central thesis. Sometimes, it is NOT good to have a baby, especially if your "life" partner has faulty genes. Woody fathered two children with me, and I still weep at night knowing that I've passed that bastard's sick genetic code on to a new generation.

And yet, those two children were not sufficient to make me feel like a woman. I needed most of the Easter Rim to make me feel maternal. Adoption allowed me to keep up my busy schedule of accusing Woody of child molestation without being bogged down in maternity. How can you, a man who likes to put surgical gloves on his head and inflate them, judge me for that?

5/5/2008 10:41 PM

Brenda - adoptive mother:

Shame on you Howie!! How dare you judge adoption without the knowledge of how & why it happens!!

5/6/2008 2:00 AM

Marley:

You got it right! Most adoptees do not get the promised pony or (age-appropriate) Lexus. It's so sad! I actually know someone who when she attempted to pry her sealed adoption record from the state was told, "When you agreed to be adopted, you agreed to the sealing of your records. You can't have them."

5/8/2008 10:32 PM

Michael Jackson:

Shame on you Howie, adoption is a wonderful option for boys like myself. I am in the process of adopting a few of my own little boys, and I have never been happier. Gone are the days of forced erections with a female. I no longer have to endure the singles scene at Chuck E. Cheese's. My boys will get any car they want on their birthdays in exchange for their sweet, and innocent silence.

5/11/2008 10:28 AM

Howie Mandel:

I never looked at it that way. You are a wise 'man' lord Jackson

6/20/2008 5:51 PM

amazed:

are all you're blogs this ignorant? adoption is beautiful, but you are not.

6/19/2008 11:10 AM

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