There have been several disasters in the past decade - tsunami, New Orleans, 9-11, earthquakes, fires, etc - and what do all the victims have in common? I didn't know ANY of them. This begs an obvious question: Does knowing me save you?

After arriving to this now obvious conclusion, I quickly called everyone in my cell phone and explained my value. Am I more then just a man?  It's hard for anyone to know for sure, however after an informal survey of all 28 girls that hold the cases, 28 said "yes, Howie"!

Here is my pledge - I WILL SAVE YOU!

What I think might be a good idea is everyone who is interested in not dying an awful death, request to be friends with me on Myspace (no gays).  I feel that once the request is made this would be enough to secure your safety. 

In advance, you're welcome :)

-- Howie "humble servant" Mandel

(Photo credit: Associated Press)