So apparently Steven Spielberg has quit his Olympic adviser position because he doesn’t like where we get our gas.

Photo by DanieVDM via flickr

Can you believe these Hollywood bleeding heart liberals coming over here and crying over our politics when there are ceremonies to be choreographed? Spielberg left in a huff when he found out we buy oil and sell weapons to Sudan. Big whoop Spiely, just tell me at what point in the song do the confetti cannons shower the mascot with magical stardust? Is it the coda? Fine, you don’t want to talk because you have “principles” to abide by. Blink twice if it’s the coda. Wait, you blinked once and kind of twitched a 2nd time. Were you telling me it’s the coda or did you just get some dust in your eye?

Forget it, I don’t even know why I’m trying to bargain with a Hollywood Primadonna. We’re trying to create a colorful celebration of world unity and you’re ruining it with whiny protests about hundreds of thousands dying in a bloody civil war.

“Boo hoo! Some African mother ended up on the wrong end of an assault rifle. Now I can’t film the epic kiss.”

“Waaah, my Sudanese pen pal’s last letter ended suddenly with a splotch of blood. I’ll never laugh again.”

I’ve honestly never met someone with such mixed-up morals. I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise though, coming from the man who made his fortune crying over the suffering of an ugly little transvestite alien.