Hello friends. I know many people in America have been fascinated with these elections taking place, and Ol’ Hef is no different. Well, now that all the papers and talk show blowhards and even athletes and actors have made their choices known, its time for Hef to break down the issues that matter …

Hef votes for Change. Hef votes for Experience. Hef votes for Leadership. Hef votes for Hillary Clinton.

And, no it’s not because Hilary is a woman. Heck, I still am not 100% convinced she is a woman. You know, I offered her a ton of cash after Bill’s last term to pose in Playboy. I told her she didn’t even have to show too much T or A, but she refused, saying something about disenfranchisement of women or some other neo-liberal nonsense.

No, it has to do with her husband, the greatest President of our generation, William Jefferson Clinton. Imagine if you will, Bill in the White House, with all of the fame, all of the power and none of the responsibility! Once Hill goes on her first trip to a summit in Europe, the White House will start to resemble the Playboy Mansion. I hear that Bill has even started accepting bids to build a Grotto off the West Wing. You got to love what that kind of excitement, that kind of misbehavior, that kind of sexy can do for this great country. Recession? War? Health Care? Who would have time to worry about those things when news hits of Bill rushing four coeds out of the Oval Office before Air Force One touches down?

Bringing sexy and classy back to the White House the way only the Clintons could! So join me America and vote for Hillary Clinton.